Some people's lives change with
a major turn

Others' slowly drift into
something we
only maintain

Life is never meant to be put on a shelf,
waiting to be lived again "someday"

Ava Houkes
Expat Family & Life Transition Coaching
Leadership & Expat Transition Advisory

Ava guides individuals, couples, and organisations to unshelf potential and bring expat life and complex transitions fully alive again through advisory, coaching, speaking, teaching and facilitated conversations.

Life comes alive when we consciously participate in it

When we connect with what's truly important and take it of the shelf, we can create a life Above the Common: stepping out of unconscious or postponed living and into conscious engagement with life.


Living Life Above the Common does not mean living a perfect life, a high-status life, or a life defined by external success. It means consciously participating in shaping the life you are living, rather than drifting through it.

Ava's work focuses on protecting people's right to FULLY live their lives, no matter where in the world they are, or for how long. In her work, focused on internationally mobile professionals, leaders and teams, as well as expats and expat partners, she's witnessed countless times how very capable, intelligent people can quietly, respectfully and unconsciously drift into postponing life in different forms.

Sometimes that’s waiting for circumstances to change.
Sometimes it’s doing what seems right, necessary, responsible, or expected.
Sometimes it’s filling life with motion while something essential remains untouched.

While life still 'works well', the miracle of life unintentionally gets muted.

How Life Can Get Put On a Shelf

Certain life situations require intense focus, adaptation, or responsibility. During these periods, people often place parts of their own life temporarily on the shelf in order to navigate what is happening around them.

This can happen in contexts such as:

  • international relocation

  • expat partner transitions

  • demanding leadership or teams

  • major career or life transitions

  • periods of rapid professional success

Nobody intentionally chooses to postpone life. Yet in these moments, shelving life can feel responsible, necessary, or even inevitable. Or it simply happens without anyone noticing.

Without conscious re-engagement, what was meant to be temporary can drift into permanence.

The life that was placed on the shelf never fully returns.

Ways to Help Unshelf Potential

Depending on the context, my work takes different forms:

  • 1:1 Advisory and Coaching

Supporting individuals and couples navigating identity transitions, relocation, leadership challenges, and questions of life direction

  • Organisational Advisory

Working with organisations that support internationally mobile professionals and leaders navigating complex transitions

  • Workshops and Facilitated Conversations

Exploring themes around expatriation, or other themes such as authorship, conscious participation in life, and identity in transition

  • Speaking and Teaching

Introducing the philosophy of living Above the Common in organisational and professional environments

This Work Is Especially Relevant For

  • people preparing for their relocation or move abroad



  • expat partners navigating their transition and identity shifts

  • internationally mobile professionals and couples

  • leaders in high-responsibility environments

  • executives involved with complex transitions

  • organisations employing or supporting individuals listed above

What clients say

Rather than telling you what this work does, I prefer to let clients speak for themselves.

A Life Above the Common Begins with Awareness of What's On the Shelf

If this perspective resonates with you, you are welcome to explore the work further.

If you’re an expat partner navigating life abroad

If you’re living outside your country of origin and finding that something in your sense of self, direction, joy or belonging has shifted, you’re not alone.

Whether for work or personal reasons, as an expat yourself or as an expat spouse (also called trailer spouse), relocation often changes more than logistics. It can quietly affect identity, agency, and how at home you feel in your own life.

For this specific context, I offer the EPIC (Expat Partner Impact Consult): a focused conversation designed for expats or other people in big transitions, who want to:

  • Make sense of what this transition has impacted internally

  • Regain clarity, direction, and personal authorship

  • Decide what kind of support would genuinely help next

Not an expat partner, but recognising yourself in this?

You’re welcome to enquire about other coaching options.

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