Some people's lives change with
a major turn
Others' slowly drift into
something we only maintain
Life is never meant to be put on a shelf,
waiting to be lived again "someday"
Ava Houkes
Expat Family & Life Transition Coaching
Leadership & Expat Transition Advisory
Ava guides individuals, couples, and organisations to unshelf potential and bring expat life and complex transitions fully alive again through advisory, coaching, speaking, teaching and facilitated conversations.
Life comes alive when we consciously participate in it
When we connect with what's truly important and take it of the shelf, we can create a life Above the Common: stepping out of unconscious or postponed living and into conscious engagement with life.
Living Life Above the Common does not mean living a perfect life, a high-status life, or a life defined by external success. It means consciously participating in shaping the life you are living, rather than drifting through it.
Ava's work focuses on protecting people's right to FULLY live their lives, no matter where in the world they are, or for how long. In her work, focused on internationally mobile professionals, leaders and teams, as well as expats and expat partners, she's witnessed countless times how very capable, intelligent people can quietly, respectfully and unconsciously drift into postponing life in different forms.
Sometimes that’s waiting for circumstances to change.
Sometimes it’s doing what seems right, necessary, responsible, or expected.
Sometimes it’s filling life with motion while something essential remains untouched.
While life still 'works well', the miracle of life unintentionally gets muted.
How Life Can Get Put On a Shelf
Certain life situations require intense focus, adaptation, or responsibility. During these periods, people often place parts of their own life temporarily on the shelf in order to navigate what is happening around them.
This can happen in contexts such as:
international relocation
expat partner transitions
demanding leadership or teams
major career or life transitions
periods of rapid professional success
Nobody intentionally chooses to postpone life. Yet in these moments, shelving life can feel responsible, necessary, or even inevitable. Or it simply happens without anyone noticing.
Without conscious re-engagement, what was meant to be temporary can drift into permanence.
The life that was placed on the shelf never fully returns.
Ways to Help Unshelf Potential
Depending on the context, my work takes different forms:
1:1 Advisory and Coaching
Supporting individuals and couples navigating identity transitions, relocation, leadership challenges, and questions of life direction
Organisational Advisory
Working with organisations that support internationally mobile professionals and leaders navigating complex transitions
Workshops and Facilitated Conversations
Exploring themes around expatriation, or other themes such as authorship, conscious participation in life, and identity in transition
Speaking and Teaching
Introducing the philosophy of living Above the Common in organisational and professional environments
This Work Is Especially Relevant For
people preparing for their relocation or move abroad
expat partners navigating their transition and identity shifts
internationally mobile professionals and couples
leaders in high-responsibility environments
executives involved with complex transitions
organisations employing or supporting individuals listed above
What clients say
Rather than telling you what this work does, I prefer to let clients speak for themselves.
A Life Above the Common Begins with Awareness of What's On the Shelf
If this perspective resonates with you, you are welcome to explore the work further.
If you’re an expat partner navigating life abroad
If you’re living outside your country of origin and finding that something in your sense of self, direction, joy or belonging has shifted, you’re not alone.
Whether for work or personal reasons, as an expat yourself or as an expat spouse (also called trailer spouse), relocation often changes more than logistics. It can quietly affect identity, agency, and how at home you feel in your own life.
For this specific context, I offer the EPIC (Expat Partner Impact Consult): a focused conversation designed for expats or other people in big transitions, who want to:
Make sense of what this transition has impacted internally
Regain clarity, direction, and personal authorship
Decide what kind of support would genuinely help next
Not an expat partner, but recognising yourself in this?
You’re welcome to enquire about other coaching options.
